


Gwen's Return

by Shadow7



Category: Blake Shelton (Musician), Gwen Stefani - Fandom
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, F/M, Flashbacks, Hate to Love, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:48:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26538367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow7/pseuds/Shadow7
Summary: Gwen Stefani returns to the town and to the people who hurt her the most. Can she heal or die trying?I suck at summaries
Relationships: Blake Shelton/Gwen Stefani
Comments: 15
Kudos: 59





	1. Returning Home

**Author's Note:**

> Yes! A new story! I've been playing with the story for a bit.. that's why it's limited.
> 
> As you know, I'm trying to get back so... let's see how this goes.  
> I'm not ditching any other story but... this idea has been in my head for so long, it was even rude to not write it
> 
> Hope you like it!

_-Gwen, sweetly. Are you sure you want to come back to this town? I remember when we met, and … it wasn’t pretty what this town did to you-_

_-I know, I know. But I just… don’t know-_ Gwen was walking around downtown, a cap on, a sweatshirt with a big NY stamp, tight jeans, and a pair of sneakers. Not the best outfit to hide with but it was actually, the less flashy thing that she had.

_-I know you feel guilty cause you never came back when your parents were alive, but … do you think it’ll be a good idea? I mean, honey…-_

_-I didn’t want to remember when my parents were alive, it was enough with what happened. That’s why they would always go where I go, now, they’re both gone and I want closure I think-_

_-MOM! Look.. there’s gonna be a real carnival this weekend. Like a real, carnival!-_ Gwen’s middle boy was a Gwen in the making, all energy, zero fucks given.

_-Really? That sounds fun, Zums-_ She held the pamphlet in her hands and looked at the pictures, she remembers those carnivals

_-I know!!-_ He ran back to the park

- _Gwen, think this through-_

_-I am. Look the kids are delighted and… maybe a change of scenery will be good for all. I need Kingston more focus in school, Zuma is happy anywhere and Apollo, is a baby. I want them to grow up with a good feeling, a good environment. If it’s not here, somewhere else but I don’t want to be in the city-_

_-Fine. I’m gonna stay with you for a bit. Just in case you either wanna bolt or commit a murder-_

_-I always knew I could trust you, Bradley-_

_-You do-_

They walked arm in arm and crawled two joyful kids and a grumpy teen to the restaurant. She used to eat burgers all the time, and it was one of the main places where everything ended, or maybe the start of it all.

They entered and it was just like it was years ago, nothing had changed. Dark woods, dark themes of colors decorated the room, it was filled with the laughter of the families and men, the smell of that odd mix of fried food, smoke, and alcohol made her return to the early 2000s.

And there it was, that bar at the end of the long sitting area, a place that only over 21 or pretty girls over 18 could sit in, flirt for a drink, and wait for a cowboy to catch her eye. She remembered what was that like. She shivered.

_-It’s just like I thought it would be-_ Kingston said. She looked at her 12-year-old and felt old, incapable, and a bad mother. His disdain over everything was palpable and obvious for a boy his age, that didn’t ease the guilt of the divorce nor the life of work she had followed until very recently.

Since she was 19, since the moment she took that plane to NY, she never looked back. She didn’t want to. So, she worked, worked, and worked until her bank account was filled with money and her fears over the steadiness of life were something of the past. That came with sacrifices, married a man she didn’t love, had his children, got divorced, miss their parents' last moments, and most of her oldest children’s achievements.

But she was done with that life. She wanted more. She wanted to give them what she didn’t have, stability. Yes, her parents were mentally stable, they loved each other, but was it worth it when there was no food in the fridge and their stomach was only filled with rice and water? She didn’t think so.

_-So, what do you guys want?-_

_-Burger and milkshake_!- Zuma said and Kingston agreed with a very teen grunt

A waitress came close to the table.

_-Hi! I’m Marsha. Welcome to B and H’s. What can I do for ya?-_ That woman was old when she was a kid, so the fact that in her head looked the same, rocked her. Why did she felt like it has been so long, while everything in this damn town stayed the same? The uniforms, the smell, the waitress. She felt going back in time.

-Hi, we would want 4 American burgers and a kids meal, please-

-You folks from the city. I see!! Passing through town? I can tell ya a few places to go- Nosey. Some things never really change.

-Mommy is from here!- Zuma said with a smile. Her good intentions boy had dropped a bomb she wasn’t exactly ready to reveal.

_-Really? Are you mam?-_ She asked putting her hand on my shoulder, she tensed. Fuck, she wasn’t ready. She never felt ready.

_-Yes, I left years ago-_ Cap still on and face down to the menu.

_-Really? Let me look at ya beautiful face-_ She took a deep breath and looked up, crossing her eyes with that woman, one that even though had not been the worst, she wasn’t a fan of hers.

- _Gwen Stefani-_

_-Hello-_

_-Wow. You’re all grown-_ She looked shocked and nervous.

_-Yes I am… I wasn’t going to be 18 my whole life-_

_-You sure weren’t-_

Gwen decided to take the cap off and show her locks, and she could swear, everyone in that bar stared at her. She ignored them. She was used to that. In New York, people wanted her picture, paparazzi followed her around and men looked at her for hours.

She took a quick scan of the room, saw more than a few familiar faces. Most of them, people she never really hung out with, some she saw in the street growing up, and a couple who she still had nightmares about.

- _We want the burgers, please-_ Brad pressed, sending the moment.

Gwen stayed quiet and appreciate the phone call that entered her phone. It was Todd.

- _Excuse me-_ I got up, needing air, and went outside as I answered.

_-Hey bro-_

_-You there? –_ I heard him anxious. All her siblings knew my dislike for the place, only Jen understood my need to close all the wounds. They left one by one and never came back. Took their parents ten years to leave that hell hole, but they never sold their house

_-Yeah, just got here. We got into H’s for burgers. Marsh is still alive, that surprises me-_

_-What?! The last time I checked was like 8 years ago, she might have been 80 then-_

_-Probably more-_

_-Taking a deep breath?-_

_-I’m on it-_

_-Eat and go home. Rest and keep going tomorrow. If it’s too much, come back-_

_-Todd… I-_

_-Come on. We are all here in LA. We miss you-_

_-I miss you but I need to do this-_

_-Ok. But call me! Or Jen-_

She hung up and she took a deep breath, looking at the plaints of it all, and getting as much air as her lungs could get.

- _Gwe… Gwen?-_

She turned around and saw Behati, a girl she was close in school, a few grades younger but they were in the same volleyball team – though, Gwen sucked. Now, she, the beautiful girl, was sporting a big pregnant belly and her hair was much lighter than the last time she saw her, almost 20 years earlier.

_-Behati, hi-_

_-Oh My God_ \- She walked up to Gwen and hugged her tight, arms around her shoulders and belly pressed to her body.

_-You look amazing! Stunning. Oh My God! I have missed you so much-_ Gwen felt such a weird confidence she laughed and hugged her back.

_-I didn’t know you lived here. I keep seeing you everywhere, every billboard that I look there’s your face-_

_-Yeah, I model now. But I got married and stayed here. You know I love this place-_

_-I do-_ She stayed quiet.

_-I’ve missed you-_

_-I’m at H’s, getting a burger with my kids-_

_-Kids? You got kids?-_

_-I do! 3-_

_-3?! I barely manage one and pregnant with the second brings all kind of anxiety-_

_-You’ll be fine. Do you want to sit with us?-_

_-Yeah! I’d love to meet your boys!-_

We entered the bar and saw that the burgers were been placed in the seats.

-Do you want one?-

_-I can’t. I already ate and I still have a long way to go._

_-Trying not to eat too much?-_

_-Hi, everyone. I’m Behati- She said sitting down. – You guys are sooo cute-_

_-Hi-_

_-Hi. Who are you?-_

_-I’m Brad. You’re a supermodel-_

_-Yes I am. Is this your husband?-_

_-Brad is…-_

_-Mommy, do I have to eat this? Can I have some fries too?-_

_-You have to eat the chicken first, Pollo-_

_-But..-_

_-Just a bit ok? The juice and last fries-_

He scrunched his face but didn’t cry as usual… just sat there and threw a chicken piece in his mouth. Without much fuss but tears in his eyes. It wasn’t always like this. Thank God there wasn’t a tantrum on the works.

They started to talk about work, the kids joined in the conversation and they kept going until the food was gone and everyone was laughing about Gwen’s life as a sportswoman. 

_-Gwen, you have to come to my house! Meet my eldest-_

_-I’d love to, Behati. You gave me your number, so I’ll call you, okay? We need to get settle first-_

It was late, the boys were a bit sleepy and Gwen was feeling the hours in the plane, the lack of sleep, and the anxiety that had been eating since she decided to make this move.

When they left the bar, Behati took Apollo in her arms and walked out, making him face and enjoying his laughter.

-B I was calling you, but you were out of service. Do you know where…- The man shut up and stared.

Adam Fucking Levine.

-… Gwen-

_-Adam-_

_-You remember her? Gwen this is my husband… father of my children. I know, I ended up marrying a jock turned police officer-_ She took his arm and pushed him towards her, laughing as she said it.

Gwen was stuck in her place. She remembered all too well.

_-You married him, huh?-_

_-Yeah…-_ She then noticed the tension and the fact that her husband only had said one word. – Am I _missing something-_

_-No, nothing at all. We have to go-_ Gwen went cold and Behati noticed, Adam and Brad too.

_-Ok. Maybe my place next time?-_

_-Sure, I’ll call you-_

The boys said bye and left with Gwen, all in their ice creams as Brad took her hand walked a shaky Gwen to the car.

_-What was that? Why did she … what happened Adam?-_

_-Gwen and Blake, remember?-_

_-Oh.. shit. I forgot that. I don’t know much what happened-_

_-It wasn’t good. That’s all you need to know-_

_-She’s so nice. Lovely… Sweet-_

_-She’s always been like that… -_

_-I never understood why she left so abruptly-_

_-It was a long story-_

_-You gonna tell me about it?-_

_-Maybe…-_

_-Adam…-_

_-Adam! Where is Carson? I need to know hat happened yesterday night at the end of town. Mrs. Carltine called me and said something about a robbery and that Carson didn’t want to take it, she’s pissed-_

_-Blake…-_

- _B, how are you? Did you buy a soccer ball?-_

_-Dude… You need to know something-_

_-What?-_

_-Mrs. Behati! Mrs. Behati! I forgot my ball-_ Blake saw a little blonde-haired boy running towards them. Not a boy from here, he could smell it from where he was. A city kid, the clothes screamed: “I’ve never been out in the country”.

_-Zuma, yes… I have it right here!-_ He took it and smiled, while he stared at Blake.

_-You’re a cop!-_ The boy stood and stayed obvious, considering he was wearing his uniform.

_-Yes, I’m the chief-_

_-That’s so cool-_ The boy was happy and his smile reminded him of someone, but he couldn’t place it anywhere.

_-Blake… this is Zuma, he’s..-_

_-Zuma! Did you get the…-_ His heart stopped. His world turned upside down and the air left his lungs

_-Gwen-_

_-Blake-_ He couldn’t focus on anything else but the way she looked. She looked the same after all these years. 18 years. 18 years in October to be exact.

His throat closed and his sight was only focused on her.

So much so, he didn’t notice the man that was walking up to them until he put his arms around her shoulders and pulled her into his arms. The man was tall, blonde, and had bright eyes, long hair, and an earring. That’s when he also noticed the other young boy clinging to her leg and the other one, older, looking dead face at him.

_-Hi-_

_-Hello-_

_-Mom, he’s a real cop!-_

_-I see the badge-_

_-So, can we like to hang out alone? There are cops and you know them. Can I go with my bicycle through town? Like in the movies. And maybe go to the park? Eat some ice cream?-_

_\- I don’t think so honey. I still don’t trust cops, doesn’t matter where we are-_ She said it looking straight at him.

Blake felt the sting in his chest, the shame crawling inside and the air was still non-existing. He hurt.

– _But if you want to ride, King can go with you, if not, I’ll go with you, and I’ll show you all my favorite places-_

_-Ok mommy-_

_-Thanks for the ball Behati. We have to go-_ She was trying her damn best not to cry, nor to crumble under his sight.

_-Sure! See you! My house next time, remember!-_

_-I’ll call you-_

Blake saw them walk away and the man took Gwen’s hand on his and pulled her, while the boys ran towards a big black car at the end of the street. It screamed money, just like them.

His heart was still broken from when she left, he was feeling unsure and unprepared, but hell if she still wasn’t a pretty sight to see. Even after all these years, she had the power to knock the air out of his lungs.

- _So that’s him-_

_-Yeah, that’s deputy Shelton-_

_-Well, if I didn’t know your story, I’d have told you to push him back and fuck him in the seat of the cop car. You know I love me a tall man in a uniform-_

_-I do. But considering he’s the star of my nightmares. I wouldn’t even look at him with anything but hate, even if we were the only two people left in the world-_

_-I get it, baby-_

_-I can’t believe he’s a cop… after everything that happened-_

_-Maybe, he’s…-_

_-Nothing. I don’t care. One thing that you should know about him, is that he can charm a sneak into getting itself poisoned. Something I learned almost 20 years ago, it’s that you should never trust Blake Fucking Shelton-_


	2. Starts

_-Is he there? Is he looking? What is he wearing? Do you think he noticed my bikini? I feel naked but God, if he notices it…-_

- _Gwen, stop. Ok. He is looking, he is there and he’s in his car, but I can see that white t-shirt and his sunglasses that you just love and if I’m correct, he is looking at you-_

Jen was a true friend, and the best girlfriend his brother could have ever get. She would join her in her crazy adventures of late-night dinners inside her room and sneaking into the art program after hours to finish some projects. Gwen was a wild child.

_\- Just look behind you and wave, if he doesn’t wave back, he shall never be spoken of again-_ Jen added with a laugh.

But we knew, we both knew he would wave back, he was that guy. He was the guy you could speak to any time, anywhere, even if he didn’t want to.

He was sweet, and funny and tender and oh so hot. Tall, 5 foot 6 inches of broad of a man, blue eyes and dimples.

To Gwen, he was the guy. The dream guy. The guy she would marry and have lots of children in a heartbeat. And even, she dares to say, she would learn how to cook for. She would do that for him. That’s how much she liked him.

- _Jen, I can’t do that! First, he’s like… a grown-up. He’s 21, almost 22, and I’m 17. He’s in the police academy and I’m still in high school. And, he’s…-_

- _Hot. Do it. The worst that can happen is he doing nothing. So, what? There’s plenty of guys in school that would die if you ever got to look at them. And, didn’t you say, new hair, new attitude_?- Jen loved to use her own words against her, that bitch.

_-One thing is to like not to be such a goodie two shoes and go platinum on my hair, and another whole thing is to flirt… with a man-_

- _Who else would you flirt with?-_ Jen asked with a loud laugh and laid in the chair, as she looked at him. She also had bought a skimpy bikini that had her brother woofing when he saw them leaving her house.

_-A boy, like Tony-_

_-You can’t compare Blake Shelton with Tony Kanal, we’re talking about two specimens so different, that in the same sentence just sounds wrong_ \- Gwen had to agree but until she reached 18, she didn’t see a future with a man, especially not with one of the likes of Blake Shelton.

- _Jen! He’s sweet and he asked me to H’s last week. I couldn’t go because of Eric’s thing, but he asked me out again, for today, to Erin’s party_ -

- _If you go on a date with him, I’d slap you across that beautiful face of yours-_ Jen looked at her with dead eyes and she knew, Jen meant business.

_-Jen, let’s forget about it.. ok?-_ We walked out of the parking lot and we saw Blake in his car, looking at us while leaning into his car.

He looked so good, I pretty much drool.

_-Hi. Blake… Hi. Hello-_

_-Gwen, Jen-_ He nodded and I couldn’t talk, just stared at him as we walked past his car. I could see us reflected in his glasses and I could see my reflection staring like an idiot.

- _Are you two going to tonight’s party?-_ He asked as we were about to get into Jen’s scooter, and I felt my stomach turned into knots.

_-Yes, Gwen and I are both going, Todd is coming with-_

_-Careful. I heard Kanal is very interested, he’s intense and he can get mean-_

_-Thanks. We know, that’s why Gwen’s not going alone-_

_-Good-_

_-Thanks, Blake-_ Gwen got the courage out of nowhere and talked to him without stuttering. She had crossed only a few lines with him in the last 17 years, she would answer with two words, and on a good day, three.

Every time he got close, Gwen’s heart either stopped beating or just ran inside her chest. So, she usually concentrated on not dying instead of talking to him

- _You’re welcome Gwen-_

_-Thanks…again-_ Damn it. She repeated herself and went completely red. Of course. She looked down when she said it shyly but when she looked up, she almost died.

He had his jean shorts, that white t-shirt but the sunglasses were gone now. His hair was filled with curls, one of them, laying gently on his forehead. He looked like the kind of man who would look like that without much need, much time nor care.

- _I like your new hair. For your birthday?-_

_-Yeah… sort of. I just wanted, I don’t know, something different. I guess-_

_-You turn 18, right?-_

_-Yeah-_ Come on Gwen, you’re a grown woman. You should be able to say two sentences to him.

_-Yeah, I remember Dennis grunting about the fact that his baby would turn 18 the year after last, and she could do whatever she wanted last year-_

_-He keeps telling me that he’ll lock me up-_

_-Well, here in the middle of nowhere seems a bit possible-_

_-You could break into any tower, right Blake? I mean, police academy and all-_ Jen was bold, she was closer to Blake’s age and her voice didn’t seem to hide when he was around.

_-For a woman in distress, I just might-_ Jen turned the scooter around and Gwen didn’t notice when she took all of the things and put them into the little trunk. She even put her shorts on.

_-Good. So we know we can trust you-_

_-You might. Always-_

_-Bye, Blake-_

_-Jen. Gwen…-_

_-Bye-_

- _I can’t believe she’s here. I can’t-_ Blake was off duty, he had a beer in his hand and was sitting on Adam’s porch, side by side, his best friend.

He went straight after he took his uniform and the station, trying to make a sense of what had happened earlier that day.

_-Her parents died-_ Adam stated the obvious.

_-Yeah, but she never came, not even when Patti got Cancer, nor when she died. So why now?. It’s been 18 years, and she comes now? Why? With her kids and with her boyfriend? Why? She’s rich and famous, she could have handled everything from afar-_

_-She might have wanted to do everything by herself, which is good for her. I mean.. 18 years and come back as nothing had happened, it’s pretty admirable-_

_-I just… my stomach turned inside out when I saw her. Especially when I saw the hate behind her eyes-_

_-Technically she hates us. Probably she hates the entire town if we are honest. You didn’t see her face but she literally was happily talking to B, and then, bang, hate coming through all of her pores-_ Adam added, as his memory took him back to 17-year-old Gwen, soft and sweet.

After all that happened, he wasn’t completely shocked, but still, was surprised.

_-I know. It’s… -_

_-I bet, man-_

_-She was the one who left. She threw everything away and left. To just, never look back, never return never even …-_

The silence took over and Blake fought his hardest against the sorrow and pain. It returned a few times a year, less painful every year. It felt like the scars were ripped wide open, seeing her in the flesh, standing in front of him, more beautiful than ever. He started to bleed once again.

_-Her kids are cute-_ Adam said that out of nowhere. Probably not feeling the most comfortable with his friend's wound.

_-They are. I’ve seen a few pictures of them on magazines and shit, but, I didn’t know she was with someone-_

_-Gwen Stefani, single. No. She isn’t-_ True. Gwen never had issues with men dying for a look from her. It didn’t matter that she was shy beyond belief and that looking at her, you could tell, it wasn’t her shtick. 

_-She was married to a British guy but she got a divorce. I guess this is her boyfriend-_

_-You kept tabs on her, I see-_ Adam said with a wicked smile

_-Hard not to, considering she’s literally everywhere-_

_-I don’t know. I never had a famous ex, my current wife is famous and I’m begging her not to dump me, so…-_

_-I’m not gonna dump you, honey-_ Behati walked in beers in her hand. She sat on Adan’s armrest and crossed her legs. She looked like a beautiful mermaid with all that hair of hers flowing in the wind.

_-If you do… would you run away with me?-_ Blake asked her. It was a running joke between the three of them. Blake and Adam had shared everything during their lives, so why not a wife too?

Blake and Adam had been friends since the two of them were barely able to form sentences. They went to school together. Both became jocks. Both became cops, Adam went into private land and Blake stayed as a cop, still worked together.

They were best men at each other’s wedding, Blake was the godfather of Adam’s oldest. And they all had dinner together at least twice a week.

So, 30 years in, their relationship was stronger than ever

_-I don’t know, Blake. You’re not really my type-_

_-Ha!-_ Adam laughed, kissing his wife's arm.

_-Besides, I would first kill Adam … then get marry again-_ That had Blake laughing

_-That so nice of you. You don’t want me to see you with someone else-_

_-I’d never put you through that, babe-_

_-Thank you. And if you do, in fact, kill me, can it be quick? Nothing venomy nor bloody. I want to look gorgeous in my afterlife, You know when I come back to haunt Blake-_

_-Why me? If she is the one who’s gonna kill you-_

_-I don’t know. I’d love to haunt you-_

_-Sadist-_

_-Now, that said. Why does Gwen hate you both? I mean, I get it. You two dated but only for a few months and then she left. Like, why is she still hurt? It’s been over a decade-_

_-18 years. And… our thing was … intense. It didn’t end well and … it was hard, B-_

_-Considering how skittish she got when she saw you, I bet it wasn’t. Dinner is ready. Let’s eat-_

_-I should go home-_

_-You drank a beer, you cant drive-_

_-I live down the road. I’m gonna be fine-_

_-You’re not gonna eat with us?-_

_-Sorry, honey. Some other day-_

Blake got into his truck and drove to his property, he took a good look at his land and a deep breath.

He got it from his stepdad before he died and then it took him long nights for years but he got the land right next to it. 10 acres of land to build, to grow, and when he retired, to care for. A place he could raise his future kids, a place where he could be free.

Every night, whenever he got near his house, he felt a sense of pride that nothing could compare to, he felt powerful and fulfilled. Today, he didn’t though. He felt empty. And Blake’s gut told him that, the feeling would never come to his life again as long as Gwen Stefani was in town.

He didn’t get embarrassed easily, he didn’t think about the past much, and he only had two regrets in his life, marry Miranda and hurt Gwen. Those two were going to haunt him for the rest of his life, he was sure.

_-Mommy, can we go to the park?-_

Gwen and the kids were trying to fix the house for a couple of days, in Gwen’s head was enough to just get herself together and ready to leave the house before confronting the possibility to run into Blake in the streets.

Gwen had hired a couple of men to pack things up when she was still in California. And now with everything organized, they were deciding what to sell, what to give, and what to keep.

It had been a long emotional weekend, confronting her past was even harder than she thought it would have been, and it had been really difficult inside her head. Now, on Monday, the encounter with Behati was the only personal interaction they’ve had since they arrived 

_-We can. Let’s go. Kingston, we’re going out-_

_-Where?-_

_-The park. Why don’t you take your skateboard?_ – With that, the usually-annoyed-with-life teen, ran to his new room to get his stuff.

_-Brad, honey. You want to go?-_

_-Nah, I’m good. I’ll wait here. I’ll make dinner-_

_-Ok-_ Gwen got Apollo up and Zuma jumped outside, taking his ball with him.

With three kids in the car, balls, sand toys, and a skateboard they drove ten minutes to the park, where she could see at least, 10 kids running around, a few couples in picnics, and some men playing flag football.

She moved them to the foot of a tall tree, one that sustains some memories, and let the kids go. Kingston went to the cement and started immediately to gain the attention of the older boys that seemed the kind of crowd he hung out around California. He was good with his stakes and with the tricks, he was doing, it only took a few minutes for some of the kids to come to him. Kingston was talkative, outgoing and he was quick to make friends.

Zuma, on the other hand, had his basketball and had started to play around with a boy and a girl around his age, they all ran around passing the ball without much thinking, probably without teams or goal

And then, there was Apollo. He was here. Reserved, quiet, an introvert by nature. He wasn’t easygoing, nor was quick and talkative. He preferred to be alone and was easily entertained. She wasn’t sure if it was personality or the last few months of his life. He was still too little to know for sure, but she knew, she needs to push some boundaries with him.

Gwen took Apollo to the sand play and sat with him as he builds castles and played with his toys. She kept an eye on the other two.

_-Gwen!-_

_-Behati-_ The gorgeous model was walking towards her with a gorgeous little girl behind her, maybe a couple of months younger than Apollo. So, she couldn’t be over one year and a half. She had beautiful ribbons on her hair and her mom’s smile. 

_-Did you guys just arrived?-_

_-Yes. Zuma wanted to get out of the house so… here we are. Hi, missy. You are so cute-_

- _This is Dusty Rose-_

_-Hi, gorgeous-_ The baby looked at me and started to giggle but then, she looked at Apollo, and nobody else existed.

Miss Dusty Rose walked awkwardly towards the long-haired boy and stared enough time, to make Apollo uncomfortable. So he did, what she thought most men did, he gave her a toy and ignored her the rest of the time. Sadly, that was enough for her to start playing and try to complement Apollo’s castle masterpiece.

- _How’s everything?-_

_-Good, we are arranging the house. Getting the boys ready for summer-_

_-You gonna stay here the entire time?-_

_-Yeah. I want them to live another life before we move back to California. At least, for a few months, so we can all take a deep clean breath of air-_

_-I know what are you talking about. Whenever I leave, I just… want desperately t come back to this place-_

_-I don’t know about coming back, but I like the clean air for sure-_

_-Blakeeey-_ We heard the little Dusty scream and run towards the man she had been avoiding in her dreams since she was 18.

He moved down and picked her up, kissing her chubby cheeks and grunting sweetly at her while she squealed. 

Gwen snapped out of it when she felt her boy’s arms around her neck, he was hiding his face in her neck and that brought Blake’s attention to them.

_-Hello-_

_-Hi-_

Blake squatted with the girl in his arms trying to get Apollo’s attention and locked eyes with Gwen.

_-What’s up buddy?-_

He hid farther into Gwen’s buddy and that made her get up, cuddling him a bit more until his light shivers went away.

Blake didn’t take his eyes off Gwen the entire time.

_-He doesn’t like strangers-_

_-He seemed fine with Behati-_

_-Let me rephrase that. He doesn’t like male strangers-_

_-How about I take him for a walk-_ Behati intervened.

_-No, Behati. It’s fine-_

_-Come on Gwen-_

She took Apollo, who first made a noise and then stared at Behati in wonder as she took Dusty’s hand and walked towards the other side of the park.

_-Hi, Gwen-_

_-We already said hi-_

_-Did we?-_

_-What do you want Blake?-_

_-Just… talk to you. It seems like a dream, you standing in front of me after so many years-_

_-More like a nightmare, I’d say-_

_-Both are correct, just depends on the time of the day and the sharpness of your tongue-_

_-My tongue, huh?-_

_-I didn’t expect you to ever return here-_

_-Neither did I but I think, it was a going to be a nice visit-_

_-How’s it going?-_

_-I’m not sure yet-_

- _I hope we can change your mind. Things haven’t been the same since you left-_

_-No freak to look at, I guess-_

_-I wouldn’t say that. Plenty of freaks, nobody as cute as you-_

_-Don’t-_

_-Gwen…What do you really want?-_

_-Just finished my job here-_

_-That…I get-_

_-Yeah. I wanted to see if things had changed but it is like time stopped-_

_-Not really. I’m not 21 and you’re not 18-_

_-I guess so-_

_-We are very proud of the artist you’ve become-_

_-Really…-_

_-Yeah… it’s crazy. All those awards, those concerts, the music…-_

_-I didn’t take you for a ska fan-_

_-I’m a Gwen Stefani fan-_

_-Blake… what are you doing?-_

_-I just… want closure-_

_-I think you had that 18 years ago-_

_-I didn’t. I haven’t-_

_-It didn’t seem like it when you let everyone think what they thought, when you married her… or when you left me-_

_-I never left you-_

_-You did… way before I even thought it was possible-_

_-Gwen… we need to talk-_

_-No. We don’t-_

_-There was a time when you couldn’t stop talking to me and wanting to be with me-_

_-There was also a time when you couldn’t run any faster -_

_-So, what is your drink of choice?-_

_-Mmmm….-_

_-No soda-_

_-Tony… if she wants soda, she gets soda-_ Todd growled and Tony rolled his eyes.

_-Todd, dude… it’s a party-_

_-Exactly. Why don’t we ALL have fun the way we want-_

_-Fine. Get your soda-_

_-Thanks, bro-_ Gwen said as they reached on the couches.

_-Don’t worry about it-_

_-Sorry that you two can’t neck somewhere because you have to be here with me-_

_-Gwen… we would just make out with me holding your arm like a leash. I’m not gonna stop doing anything cause’ you’re here-_

_-Thanks… I guess-_

The hours passed slowly, Gwen thought.

But it took only a second, for the music to make everyone scream, for the girls to lose their clothes, for the beer and the whiskey to get harder to get and for the band to get impossibly louder. The alcohol was doing its job and Gwen couldn’t help but feel a little scared at the sight. From girls throwing up and boys, she knew passing out on the floor, to guys that looked way too old to be in a high school party slamming themselves to each other or to furniture. It was out of control.

Somehow, footballs were being thrown around and the sticky drinks covered the floor, the smell of beer made her want to throw up. She was done.

She turned to Todd but he was nowhere to be found, the place where he was just minutes ago was now occupied by a horny couple that needed a room before they went any further.

So, she did what she thought was the smart move. She left.

She hid her head from the football, her face from the people around her, and her body, from the beer that she thought, might have finished, but just kept reproducing. She felt like drowning in the smell of alcohol, joints, and raging hormones. Everything reminds her of the fact that she hated these things, she didn’t like most of the people there, and that she was, in fact, single.

The second her foot hit the sidewalk, she started to breathe again.

But it only took a few seconds to realized she found herself dealing with a new problem, how to get home. She was far, about 50 minutes of walking. She had done it before. Erin’s house was near a creek she and her friends usually went to in the summer. 

But walking that distance a little after midnight and alone, seemed completely crazy even in her fear and anxiety-driven brain.

She stood there. Let a few minutes pass while she heard the party getting louder and louder with each shaky breath she took. 

- _Gwen_ \- Her knee buckle

_-Blake-_

_-What are you doing here? Are you ok? Something happened?-_ He took her arms and looked straight at her while he asked the questions and she tried to calm her heart.

_-I’m good. Just… the party turned crazy-_

_-It was supposed to-_

_-I know. That’s why I feel so… dumb-_

_-Where’s Todd?-_

_-I don’t know. I lost him-_

_-He might be looking for you-_

_-I don’t know-_

_-Even if he’s drunk out of his mind, I bet he is-_

_-If you say so-_

She didn’t know if it was the fear but she was talking to Blake, like a normal person. She wasn’t stuttering nor was she drooling, maybe it was the way he kept holding her arms, touching her, letting his calloused hands on her.

_-Do you want to go home?-_

_-Yeah. I was just thinking about how. The walk is too long I think-_

_-Yeah, not a good idea. I can drive you-_

_-Didn’t you just got here?-_

_-This is not really my scene. I can drive you-_

_-Are you sure?-_

_-Yes, Gwen. I’m sure-_

_-Thank you-_

Her small thank you and light blush made Blake’s blood stop inside his veins. He had been looking at her for the last 45 minutes and stood close from the second she was at the house, alone, looking disoriented and uncomfortable.

Her face had been filled with shock and desperation for the last 20 minutes, and he couldn’t help but want to wrap her between his arms and take her out of there, far from everyone and everything.

She was young and beautiful, had the voice of an angel and he made every man’s blood rush towards all the good prohibited places. He was a masochist, he stood there and watched her.

The second she started to move, he followed her. To protect her, he told himself, but no, Blake was a greedy bastard.

He thought of Todd, he saw the boy moving towards a wall with his giggling girlfriend and he just wanted to scream at him. Leaving Gwen alone, with all those horny teens that wanted to get into her pants, he wanted to punch him in the face, but he didn’t.

He acted as her own personal bulldog and followed her, made sure she was safe, all while he fought the need to take her away.

_-How about you get into the truck and I find Todd, tell him I’m dropping you off-_

_-Would you do that?-_

_-Yes, don’t worry about it_ \- He winked and the beautiful blush came back to her face as it usually happened when she saw him. He loved that.

Opened his door for her.

_-Keep the doors and windows close. I’ll be quick but better you here-_

She nodded and he turned to the house.

Gwen was right. The party got out of control and everyone was high or drunk at this point. He thought about grabbing a beer but chose not to, if he barely could contain himself with Gwen when he was sober, he didn’t want to picture himself with a drink in him and alone with her.

He located Todd sucking face with Jen, so he did the quick thing, tap on his shoulder and he turned around.

- _Blake! Dudeeee-_

_-Gwen wants to go home. I’m taking her-_

_-What? Gwen? Oh shit. Where is she?-_

_-In my truck. I’m dropping her. Be careful, ok?-_

_-Thanks, dude-_ He said wasted out of his mind

Before he left, he felt a hand holding him. Jen.

_-Just so you know… Gwen wouldn’t be mad with a little kiss-_ She said drunkenly and giggling with Todd making a brand-new mark on her neck.

He turned around and thought about Jen’s words. She might not get mad, but he would. A kiss wasn’t nearly enough to deal with the fire he felt inside of him.

He got to the truck and Gwen smiled, turning him on even more than he already was.

He backed up and drove to town. 25-minute drive at least to her house, then 10 to his place downtown.

- _Thanks for this. Really. It was getting a little too intense-_

_-And you were alone-_

_-I was with Todd and Jen-_

_-Gwen, you were alone, trust me-_

_-Yeah… I guess-_

_-Thank God nobody noticed it-_

_-Why?-_

_-It could have gotten ugly-_

_-Why?-_

_-Because if anyone that drunk would have touched you, I would have lost my mind-_

_-Thank you-_

_-Anytime-_

Silence took over and he just looked at her with the side of his eyes.

- _Would you want a milkshake? We can go to H’s. To say you did something-_ But mostly because he was weak and wasn’t ready to let her go. He was playing with fire. _-Even if it’s not as fun as getting drunk and high on a ranging party-_

_-Don’t you have a place to be?-_

_-No… you?-_

_-No-_

_-So, milkshake?-_

_-Yeah…-_

He turned to the right and took the 8th straight to H’s, a 24 hours joint that would serve killer burgers and the best milkshake he could have thought possible. There wasn’t a line so the truck went through the driving thought.

A chocolate milkshake and a strawberry one was given through the window by a very bored older man that seemed to be about to fall asleep as he couldn’t help but yawn as he talked.

He stopped the car in one of the many free spots and he took his drink.

_-I wouldn’t have thought of you as a strawberry milkshake kind of guy. Aren’t men always supposed to order chocolate?-_

_-I think I didn’t go to that class. So, I prefer strawberry-_

_-I like strawberry but I love chocolate more-_ She blushed and kept talking to the floor

_-How about, I give you a bit of mine and you can have the best of both worlds-_

_-What?-_ Gwen’s entire face went red and he got scared. Did he cross a line? What had he done? How to fix it.

Gwen moved her shaky hand and offered her milkshake to him. He took it and gave her, his.

He took a sip from the same straw she was using, while he locked eyes with her. She took a sip of his and saw her eyes hit the floor of the truck, eyes not moving, red face, and shaky hands.

Then she looked up and something in her eyes changed. He saw bravery and indecision. And he knew, he was about to make the best mistake of his life that night.

He started the truck and went to the highway once again. On his way to Gwen’s house.

They didn’t speak in the entire ride there, but he saw her opened her mouth a couple of times. As if she was working to get the courage to say something. He looked at her hands and they were playing with the edge of the seatbelt.

They got to her house, and he parked near the entrance, in the dark. Only one of the rooms was slight and the porch.

- _Thanks for saving me and for making a night that could have ended pretty badly, pretty good-_

_-I’m glad you liked it. Next time you have a party to run away from, don’t doubt to come for me-_

_-Thanks, Blake-_

_-This is the most we have talked about in our life-_

_-We run in different circles-_

_-I think is because you avoid me-_

_-I don’t-_

_-I think you do. And if I didn’t know you, I’d say it’s because you didn’t like me-_

_-I do. I mean, I do... I don’t not like you. I do like you. I mean, you’re a good guy and you save me. But that doesn’t mean that…-_ She started to mumble

_-I get it. I realized that you do like me-_

_-Good-_

_-I like you too, Gwen-_

_-Ok-_

_-Now, can you look at me for a second-_

_-What?-_

_-Gwen… look at me-_

She looked up and he saw that the flushed hard to reach her chest. She looked beautiful.

- _You look beautiful tonight. Even with a chocolate mustache-_

She moved her hand up and tried to clean the inexistent mustache and he laughed out loud, while she giggled and punched his arm.

_-Good night, Blake-_ Her hand went to the handle

_-Good night, Gwen-_ He moved towards her, giving her a kiss on the cheek

She turned to him and her eyes were locked on him. Their faces so close he could smell her shampoo. Her eyes changed, something behind them changed and she did the unthinkable.

She moved and brushed her lips with his. Light touch enough to help him combust. He pressed his lips to hers let his tongue play with the edge of her bottom lip.

She didn’t move, and his mouth opened hers, made her open it, slipping his tongue inside of her mouth, he helps to drown a light gasp. She just moved her lips on his and didn’t know what to do. Her inexperience was a surprise turn on.

He used to tongue to touch hers and she froze in place, just to later move it slightly and hesitant. It was all he needed.

He seduced her tongue, seduced her mouth, and smile when he felt her hand on his chest.

The kiss stopped when he heard the light moan on her throat.

He smiled.

- _Good night-_

_-Bye-_

She left the car, got to her door and looked back. He knew it right then. The story was starting.


	3. The Past Part 1

_-Things could have gone differently, that’s true-_ Blake admitted out loud. He was surprised with himself, he had to admit. But after so many years and the last run-up with her, his mind could only take him there.

_-Do you think? I mean, leaving when I needed you the most when the entire town turned on me…-_ Gwen said softly but filled with hurt. Blake’s heart clenched inside of his chest.

_-They didn’t turn on you-_

_-They did-_

_-Just because there was some gossiping…-_

_-You don’t understand the looks, the entering around and everyone shutting up, because, yes, they were talking about you. I was 18. I was a kid, with no experience whatsoever about the disgusting things people did to me. And I was thrown, alone, into that-_

She exploded, her voice rising higher until she got a hold of herself again. She took a deep breath and turned for him to face her back. She couldn’t look at him without the anger coming in waves

_-Gwen… I am sorry. I have told you that. I must sound like a broken record by now-_

_-It was late when you were. When you got the guts to show up at my door, it was too a month too late. Sometimes apologies are too late to be able to give, even a little bit of strength. You were with me the entire ride, and still, I was the one who was punished-_

_-Gwen…-_

_-And then… she appeared. And I lost everything…-_

_-She’s not here anymore-_

_-I wouldn’t care if she even was. I was at the lowest I’ve ever been in my entire life. Alone. I promised myself I’d never been that person again-_

_-Gwen…-_

_-No, Blake. Things don’t work that way-_

_-It was a damn video…-_

_-It was more than that-_

_-What do you mean?-_

_-Nothing… absolutely nothing-_

She left Blake standing alone, in the middle of the park. Blake saw her back moving quickly in the grass, her body moving with that easiness that he has only seen on her. She went to where Behati was with happily ice-cream-eating little kids. Her baby was cute, was very very cute, shy and nervous, but cute.

Blake stood there watching Gwen leave the park, once again, it all felt too real and too close to home. She had left him more perplexed and anxious than before. Confused and hurt, but mostly embarrassed.

She was right, he was late, he was dumb, stupid, and young. He was scared of his career, he was scared to make his family embarrassed and now, he was alone, divorced watching the girl of his dreams with three boys that could have been his. That should have been his. If he hadn’t run away if he had only stayed.

If he had stayed, held her hand during this time, she wouldn’t have left the way she did. She’d probably still be a Rockstar because, honestly she was born that way, but she would be in his life. He would sleep close to her every night, tucked between his arms, with her feet in between his, and her right hand holding his neck.

If he had stayed, those three boys that were the center of attention of the park would have been playing with him. He would have dressed Apollo exactly like him, Zuma would be his tail and he’d be struggling to connect to Kingston’s teenage self. Mostly, he’d had never seen Gwen’s bac running away from him.

But he did. He was 22, he was in love, he was scared, and he left a stupid accident and a son of a bitch with a camera, ruin what would have been theirs. He was embarrassed. And she was right, he didn’t pay the price at that time, not the way she did. But he was now paying another bill.

- _How did you get home?-_ My dad asked me during breakfast. A very hungover Todd had arrived at 7 am.

- _Blake Shelton was there. He gave me a ride-_ I tried to say it nonchalantly as if it didn’t matter. Or as if, it was just some dumb occurrence. I didn’t tell him about the kiss that had me awake until 5 am, replaying it in my head over and over again.

I had received a kiss from him. I was sure, I wouldn’t get another one, but damn, that kiss would follow me and probably had me ruin for next first kisses for the rest of my life.

_-Oh-_ My dad knife stopped midair as he applied blueberry jam to his toast.

_-What? What happened? You don’t like him? He’s nice and Todd was drunk out of his mind. I was bored, so I wanted to get home and…-_ I started to panic and I felt sweat coming in

- _He is a good guy. Just … older for you-_ He interrupted me while resuming his task. This time, he was more diligent with the spreading of the jam.

_-Not like that, dad. He just gave me a ride-_

_-Ok. Just… his family is a mess and he’s older, older-_

_-I know-_

_-Ok. Just… ok.-_

That’s how everything started. From then on, Blake and I would still run into each other from time to time. In the streets, at the lake, at the grocery store. He would go to me and we would chat. Our conversations went from short and empty, to me laughing on the side with him as I shopped from my mom’s grocery list, while everyone stared. Because yes, they stared.

Blake started to take me to some places as friends, Jen and sometimes Todd came along. We would get into the car and got to the movies a couple of times and to town, enough time for our names to make rounds. Blake Shelton was in fact, hanging out with the Stefanis, was he interested in one in particular, nobody knew.

But I knew, and he knew, and our families knew. We had pushed Todd to invite him for dinner, where he charmed my mother and talked to my dad. He brought dessert, ate the entire meal, didn’t complain about my dad’s comments about age nor couples. He didn’t hesitate to put his arm around my chair but he also didn’t hesitate when it was time to go.

He never made a move on me, but he was there. So, were we something?

Anyway, the beginning of it all, and also, of the end, of course. Started, right before his birthday. That year, the school had ended a bit early for everyone’s excitement. And now it was a week before Blake’s 23rd birthday when I realized, that I had to get him a gift. Right? I mean, we weren’t a couple but we also weren’t strangers.

That day, I finished breakfast quickly and decided to go to town, first to buy him a gift and then to the nail salon or to the pool. I knew Jen wasn’t going to be up for anything that day, so just went out alone, to see what could I do instead of rotting my brain inside my room thinking about my life.

With some shorts, a t-shirt, and a pair of sandals over my bikini, I left my place around noon. I notify that I was leaving the entire day and after a weird look from my dad I left the house.

I had been walking for a bit when I heard a truck approaching. My house was about a 20-minute walk from downtown, but most neighbors would give you a ride, so I almost never walked the entire way. This time, I had been a little less than half-way when the truck pulled over. Blake.

- _Hey-_

_-Hi-_

_-You going to town? Alone?-_ He asked frowning a bit.

_-Yeah. I am bored. So… And Jen is…-_ I moved towards the truck with an embarrassed smile

_-Hungover, I bet. I heard the party at Adrian was pretty intense. Adam couldn’t get up from bed-_ He said with a smile

_-Yeah-_

_-Do you have plans?-_ He got out of the truck and walked towards me. His tall figure was astonishing and I blushed at our high difference. I looked down and he got so close, I could only see his boots close to my sandals.

_-Mmmm... Thought about getting my nails done but not really, nothing major-_ I couldn’t force myself to look up at his eyes.

The last time I did, I kissed him. And considering he hasn’t said anything nor kiss me again since that night, I bet it was a forget it happened kind of situation.

_-Would you look at me?-_ He asked and I turned my face up for a bit. He was smiling and his eyes shinned. The sun hit his curls and he looked almost dirty blonde. He moved his head down and kissed my cheek once, then he moved his mouth to mine, and kissed the corner of it.

_-I’m gonna go to the lake. Wanna come with me?-_ He asked and I moved my head up, this time I almost hit his head with mine.

_-Oh… I am… yeah, I mean…-_

_-Come on, get in-_ He opened the door for me and I hopped in.

He drove towards town and I moved down, pretending to deal something with my sandals as we passed through the side road of it, near the cafe.

_-You ok?-_

_-Yeah, just.. fixing something… um.. like -_

_-Don’t you want to be seen with me?-_

_-No it’s not that. Trust me-_

_-Then?-_

_-There ate enough weird rumors about…nothing. I have always played a really low key life and…-_

_-I get. You’re 17 and I’m 22. I could be a crazy human wanting to utterly corrupt you, which I want to do-_

_-Corrupt me?-_ I laughed nervously _. – I wasn’t thinking about corrupting, mostly murder. Though, corrupting might not be a bad idea. I mean, I don’t do much… Like at all. I don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t… anything. I’ve never.. you know. But I don’t really know you and… I don’t want you to be scared-_

_-Me scared? You’re the one who got in a car with me. Wanting to be corrupted I must add-_

_-I know you. I’d never think you can hurt me. But we don’t really know each other-_

_-We can know each other. It’s summer. I have a few weeks off… so do you. We can have a lot of fun. Healthy and safe fun… some corrupting could be done in that time-_

_-I’d like that-_

_-Cool. Now, you might want to throw yourself down. Kanal is walking and we’re gonna be right next to him in a few seconds_ \- With that, Gwen hid and waited, waited, until Blake started laughing and punched him in the arm when she realized, he was lying.

They got to the lake and Blake’s boat was already there. Technically, it was his stepdad’s boat but Blake had been fixing it in the last few months and he had turned it into something that was his.

Gwen got in and Blake drove them to the middle of the lake, turned off the engine, and turned to Gwen.

The thing about Blake's family’s property was the fact that they were at the edge of a lake, making over 60 percent of the lake, almost private. You could see the other side of the town from afar, and the people like little ants. It was heaven.

Blake took off his shirt and she drooled over his body. She had never seen him without a shirt on. He was amazing. Not overly worked, but lean, a bit of chest hair and he looked… yum.

He moved to the fridge and took two beers out of it, turning to her as he opened them.

_-How about we start the corrupting portion?-_ He asked and she nodded. She had drink beer before, just not a lot.

She took the beer in her hands and took a long sip, letting the alcohol hit her nervous systems which were almost in complete shambles. She put it down and took off her shirt and shorts. Blake stood there and watched. On their way there, she had decided to push through.

She didn’t want to be a little lamb all of her life. She wanted to take charge. She wanted to make the decisions. She wanted to have control.

- _I want a nice tan-_

_-Do you have lotion?-_

_-Yeah… I brought some-_

_-Cool-_ He sat there and I moved to the opened space and laid there, under the sun. I felt him watch.

- _What’s your favorite flower?-_

_-What? Ummm… I love roses and sunflowers. Why do you want to know?-_

_-We decided to know each other, didn’t we?-_

_-Yeah… I guess. What about you?-_

_-I like magnolias-_

_-Damn…-_

_-I know, fancy cowboy-_

_-Favorite food?-_

_-Italian. Yours?-_

_-Mexican. Favorite place in town?-_

_-The lake… for sure-_

_-Same. It’s very freeing I have to say. Favorite color…-_

We played that game for a while and I couldn’t stop laughing at some of his answers, he was quick with his words and sweeter than tea. We had one more beer before I had to turn around.

That amount of alcohol for a lightweight was able to make her free in ways she had never been. She turned around and looked straight at him. He was staring at me.

_-You look gorgeous under the sun-_

_-You stare a lot-_

_-It’s either staring or touching you… We are not ready for that-_

_-For what?-_

_-For the things I’ve wanted to do since you turned 17 and went to the park with your brother and Jen. You all played catch with Justin’s dog. You were wearing that teal blouse and the shortest shorts I’ve seen in you up into that moment-_ She remembered seen him that day, she dreamt about him that night. - _I hadn’t seen you in months. And suddenly, you were a woman. And it hit me like a wall of bricks-_

_-I’ve noticed you since I was 11 and you helped me to get on my back after Tony pushed me off the road-_

_-I remember that day. You looked so sad and you had tears all over your face, knees scraped-_

_-You pushed Tony at school. You got in trouble-_

_-I did. He is still a bit of a bully. Back then, he was, even more, now he’s simply an asshole, I mean, being 14 and pushing a 11-year-old girl in the middle of the row… -_

_-Yeah… Why did you kiss me that night?-_

_\- I had you alone, which never happens. And I couldn’t resist myself. Though, if I’m correct, you started the kiss-_

_-It was… a second of bravery. Doesn’t happen often but when it does, it’s fun. My dad says it’s like I turn into another person-_

_-It should happen more often. I’m still dreaming about that kiss-_

_-You haven’t kissed me since then-_

_-I wanted to wait for you. But we’re never alone, ever. If it isn’t Adam, it’s Todd and Jen-_

She looked at him and moved towards him. In a dream haze, she got closer to him. Blake stared, he saw something switch in her eyes, just like that night. So, he got up from the captain's chair and stared down at her.

- _A second of bravery is all it takes…-_ Gwen said to herself and again, brushed her lips to his, standing on her tiptoes.

His hands moved to her hair and as their lips brushed, he moved her hair back, the blonde locks were softer than he would have thought. He pressed his lips harder and groaned when her tongue touched his, her hands moved to his neck and her nails scratched his skin, just enough for him to shudder.

The kiss turned a bit more intense, he was moving his tongue quicker and Gwen was plastering herself on his body, his arms wrapping around her, like if it was possible to melt their skins together.

Gwen was looking for something, she wasn’t completely sure it was possible to get this way. So, she did the smart thing and pushed him down and he sat, just so she could straddle him. Adding a new layer of intensity.

_-Gwen… we should … stop-_ She kissed his neck and moan when felt teeth.

_-Why?-_

_-Cause you’re in fact innocent and I’m doing something you’re going to be regretting after it ends…-_ She took the words out of his mouth with a kiss

- _Why regretting?-_

_-We are definitely not doing anything… but kissing-_

_-Why?-_

_-Cause, you have no experience in this field… and I don’t want you to look back and think about how it could have been better or… that I took advantage-_

_-Just because I’m a virgin, doesn’t mean that I don’t know what I’m doing, Blake-_ She started to roll her hips on top of him.

_-No boyfriend… nothing I know you’re not a … fuck-_ She took his neck and he plastered his body up to hers while moaning. - _I should be seducing you…not the other way around-_

She moved and her hands went to his hair and fisted it, all while he put his arms around her and moved her body to his. He liked that edge, he needed that little pain. She gasped at the feeling.

- _Fuck, Gwen… we have to stop-_

_-No…-_

_-Gwen… Shit-_

_-This is too close to what I have dreamed my whole life-_

_-What?-_

_-You’re the star of my dreams… all of them, sexy ones-_

_-Sexy…ones. You’ve had sexy dreams about me?-_

_-I do think that if you’re there. It’s automatically sexy-_

_-Gwen…-_ He took her mouth and she moved again against him a few times. - _Have you ever…-_

_-Yes… alone. In my room. Thinking of you-_

_-Fuck…-_ She kept moving over him, and he took her mouth, battling their tongues and letting emotions flow.

He moved his hands to her back and slowly, to her butt, only to push her more on him and giving it more leverage and strength to the moves of her hips. They started to move quicker and her hands moved to his abdomen. He clenched.

_-Not yet…-_

_-But I want to…-_

_-Not yet… Fuck-_ He moved her faster and he touched a place that made her back arch. That gave him an idea. He detached to her arms but held her neck as he kept moving. Only their middles were touching now as their eyes were lock-in intensity.

His right hand went to her stomach and slowly brought it up to her breast, brushing the tip of her nipple against his thumb, giving her another sensation to lose herself in. He moved his thumb over that spot.

_-You’re right there…-_

_-Yes… Blake…-_

_-Look at me. Open your eyes. I want you looking at me-_

The movements didn’t stop but her eyes were glassy. He felt her body twitching a bit and he could savor it. The hand on her breast move to her clit, and over the swimsuit, he brushed it twice to let her explode with a loud moan that brought him to the edge helped by the way her nails clenched into his skin. He needed that edge. Always had needed.

He pulled her into him and she landed languidly on top of him, with a smile on her face. He could feel the way her legs twitched a bit. After a couple of minutes, he felt the stickiness inside his boxers.

Was it worth it? Yes, it was.

He took her mouth once again.

_-So, now, my question is. What are you gonna do? Have you thought about talking to him_ \- Brad was sitting in the bed as I got ready for dinner.

_-I talked to him at the park-_

_-You fought with him at the park. Not the same-_

_-I’m not… ready to talk to him-_

_-Your therapist said you should make amends. That if you were in fact, gonna confront the situation, you had to go the whole way-_

_-What if I’m not ready-_

_-You should have thought about that before moving back here, with your kids-_

_-I’m not moving here. Is just the summer-_

_-Whatever you say-_

_-Sometimes I feel like it’s too fresh-_

_-You should have told him what happened-_

_-I did-_

_-Not the whole thing-_

_-I don’t see why I have to. If he knew, I…-_

_-Because, he might understand why you left so suddenly and why you haven’t been able to move on completely-_

_-I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to-_

_-If you don’t push through it, you’re gonna become a bitter and sad old lady-_

_-Aren’t I, already?-_

_-You’re only halfway there, you’re in the right spot to make a U-turn-_


	4. The Cabin in the Woods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it!!  
> I'm so happy to be back. I've been writing this chapter for 2 months. Struggling to find the time, other times the inspiration and other's, life.  
> So thank you so much for keep reading it!   
> There might be another surprise on the way. So.. YAS!
> 
> NOTE: This chapter is fire, is hot, because it's Christmas and we deserve some hot smut!
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone  
> I love you all
> 
> And to my biggest cheerleader. Val, baby, thank you!

_-So, where do you think we should go for lunch I this huge town?-_ Kingston asked. I decided to take my teen out, I had taken Apollo out a couple of times, and Zuma was attached to me like an appendix. But, Kingston was a teenager who wanted nothing to do this his mom.

I had to insist almost embarrassingly on spending time with me, I wanted to play the field and see how he had been handling the situation.

- _The sacarm is not very well received, King. Wait for me to eat. I’m too hungry to deal with it right now-_ Kingston had been developing his sense of humor in the last couple of years. He had gone from being sweet and oblivious to grow sarcastic, quick, and witty. Something, I have to say, wasn’t used to it from him or from any man in my life up to this point.

Gavin comment usually comes with an insult of the bitterness of a cold slap in the face. I was happy that none of my kids actually had picked on it, or any other characteristic of their humorless father.

Then again, he was a growing teen, still annoying and snappy at times, but a good kid in the end.

- _Are you gonna ever tell me what happened? This seems… so you. I mean, this town, it’s like a simple life you always wanted for you to just leave-_

_-King… a lot of things are better left unsaid. But I do think, that I’ll tell you the story at some point when I’m completely … heal, I’d say-_

_\- I feel you nervous whenever we get into town. You flinch a lot and … you don’t talk to almost anybody here. Even though, everybody knows you and wants to talk to you-_

_-Honey…-_

_-Mom. You told me once a little of what happened-_

_-I know, but I didn’t tell you the rest of the story for a reason-_

_-Mom…-_

_-Babe, I love you but drop it-_

_-Ok. For now-_

_-Thank you, sweetly-_

_-I know what this outing is about. I’m making friends. I feel good, it’s weird to be out of LA and being the weird out… and people want to talk and talk, about the past, about you, about the sheriff about our life in LA-_

_-King… Don’t believe anybody-_

_-I know, not my first rodeo. Just… know that whatever happened, you’re still my mom-_

_-I love you too-_

_\- I didn’t say I love you… but I do-_

_-You didn’t have to say it-_

Gwen and Kingston kept walking towards the restaurant when she saw Blake outside of the café. He had his phone in his hand, his face scrunch as he was probably answering it. Gwen had two options, she either walked by him, not saying a word or she ran the other way.

She wasn’t sure what to do. But she was sure as hell, she didn’t want for him to see her, to talk to her, or to even cross the same air. So she took King’s hand and decided to bolt. But the boy acted quickly, knowingly, and walked them towards the entrance, making enough noise with his feet for the cop to look up and stare.

_-Good afternoon_ \- Kingston said but she kept quiet.

_-Hello. Gwen, boy-_

_-I’m Kingston-_

_-Kingston-_

They entered the room as a mess, she was trembling on the inside and she thanked God she had her armor on, make-up and dark shades that hid her scared eyes. Gwen kept quiet, fighting the need to hurl in the middle of the room, and took a deep.

They sat in one of the booths of the back in the right corner, she was looking at the entrance and Kingston was at the other side of it, as comfortable as a teen could get in a place like this. Which was a lot. Feet on the booth spread out on it. Not even five minutes later, a sweet teen waitress came to them, taking their order of a couple of burgers, fries, and milkshakes.

Gwen saw Blake walk straight to the cashier, with a smile, he cut the line probably, but for the way, the girl managed it, nothing new for him. So now, everything was on the move for the big sheriff. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the fact that he just wanted to change the rules, just because. God, he had changed so much.

_-Can I sit?-_ Gwen heard the voice and tensed. Blake asked, but simply sat down in front of her not waiting at all for the answer to that question. It was going to be a no, she knew, Blake knew, Kingston knew.

_-Hi, Kingston-_

_-Hi, officer Shelton-_

_-Blake, you can call me Blake-_

_-Blake… cool-_

He looked up at me.

- _How are you, Gwen?-_ They sized each other before he spoke. She'd had been trying to prepare herself for this moment, praying to God, talking to Brad and to Jen, but then again, she had let it drag.

_-I’m good-_

_-Good. Enjoying the town?-_

_-Yeah. Nothing has really changed, at all-_

_-That’s kind of true. Not much has changed, and it comes from someone who hasn’t stopped living here. And the things that had, have all been for the better-_

_-I don’t know about that… same faces with some wrinkles, some people with different size clothes, same places, same shitty attitudes, lies, and deceptions-_

_-Yeah, I guess not even the people who left, has changed-_

Dead silence took over the table. Shots have been fired both ways and they were both analyzing their wounds, and the others.

- _So, Blake… how’s being sheriff? Do you like it?-_ Kingston opened up the conversation.

_-I do. I went to the academy when I was around 18 and graduated. Worked my ass off and now, I’m here. I’d like to think that I’m doing a good job-_

_-Low crime rate?-_

_-You get your burglar, some missing cases, domestic issues, and yes, murders from time to time. Nothing huge happens here anymore, though-_

_-You like that?-_

- _I do. It makes my job easier, better and I can focus on other things-_

_-Like what? What do you do in your free time?_

_-I like to go fishing, I run in the park in the early morning or late at night, I like to do picnics, barbecues are my expertise, I play football-_

_-You do that with your kids?-_ Ding, sounded on Gwen’s head. She tried to keep Blake’s words out of her radar but having him sitting on her table, made it quite impossible.

_-I don’t… have kids-_

_-Mmmmm…-_

_-What?-_

_-Nothing… just mmmm-_

By a miracle of God, there wasn’t even a 30-second silence when the waitress got the three burgers, yes, three. Blake had apparently asked for his to be served at our table. The douche.

_-So, a double cheeseburger and a chocolate milkshake for the boy. The all American double cheeseburgers with chili fries and coke for Blake. And, the veggie burger, fries, and strawberry milkshake for Gwen. Have at it-_

_-Thank you-_ Both Gwen and Kingston said

_-Thanks Brit, can you bring the ketchup, please-_

_-Sure sir-_

Gwen took a bite and she was once again, thrown back to being 15 and tasting her Sunday dinner burgers at home.

- _You’re still not eating meat. Well, I guess living in LA made that easier-_

_-It does. I have more options there. Here I either eat fish or salad. So I cook more at home now-_

_-You cooking. I have to see that-_

_-It’s like a really good burger_ \- Kingston’s eyes were almost filled up with tears of joy.

_-Glad you like it, honey-_

The conversation went to Kingston asking about life in town, I kept clear of it. I looked around. I hadn’t gathered enough energy in the morning to do that, to share even a look with him. So she decided to just ignore him.

Gwen swept a good look on the diner, she saw a couple of familiar faces.

Flora Yearwood, from the bakery, was there with someone, she assumed it was her daughter considering how much they looked alike. John Garner, a boy who went to school with her was with his mom and his dad, my heart clenches at the sight of them together. Christopher Aldol, a bully from school was alone at the bar nursing a beer. Jessica Fisher, an ex-cheerleader and a bit of a know-it-all was looking at the menu while with a man a more than a few years older than her.

- _Mom… mom-_

_-What? Sorry… What is it, honey?-_ Kingston was right next to her, standing at the end of the booth. When did he get up?

_-A couple of guys from the park are going to play some basketball. I’m thinking of going with them. Can I?-_

_-Yeah.. but, we’ll go back home at 5, ok? I have to call uncle Todd-_

_-Ok. Thanks! Bye, Blake-_

Oh, Shit. I forgot about him

- _I have to…-_

_-No, Blake. I have to pay and I’m thinking about groceries and…-_

_-I paid while you were daydreaming._

_-Why did you pay?-_

_-Because I wanted to and because you were so deep into your head, as usual, that you didn’t see Brit come here, give us the check, come back for the money and then with the change….-_ How on earth did she zoned out that much _\- Besides, when I walked in, I told her I’d be paying_ -

_-Blake…-_

I was nervous, the fury had left my body and now, I felt the need to leave the room, I could feel every single person staring at us. I took my handbag and walked as cool and distant as I could. Didn’t work that much when not only Blake walked at my fast pace but opened the door and put his hand on my waist to help me walk through it.

I moved to the side quickly and his hand disappeared just as fast.

_-Sorry-_ He mumbled

_-I can’t just walk around-_

_-I just want to talk. We haven’t talked in almost two decades. I think I think… we can do it. I mean we do throw darts at each other… but, fuck, we haven’t shared the same space since…-_

_-I wouldn’t call it darts-_

_-Fine, let's call them… fire bullets-_

_-Blake…-_

_-Gwen. Just talking, I don’t think neither of us wants to go through that path again -_

I walked for a few minutes around the city. Neither of us disrupted the silence, the very awkward silence that felt the only shield we both held on to. I started to walk without much of a direction, mostly trying to lose Blake.

I thought of going to the supermarket or maybe the post office, but the idea of having people staring at us, like some sort of bug, disgusted me more than having a full depth conversation with him.

That’s how I reached a place I hadn’t thought about since I was 18. The woods at the back of the town. It was exactly the same, but for some reason, less scary and isolated.

_-I hadn’t thought of this place in so long_ \- I said stopping in front of him it

_-Really?-_

_-Usually, all my memories stay at the lake-_

He walked first, this time, he was leading. And for some reason, never crossed my mind the possibility of not following him.

We cross some birds eating in the ground, leaves in every single color possible in nature, branches in many sizes but we strayed from a path that seemed to have been created by ATVs and bikes. The mold stuck to the trunks of the trees, there were haunting sounds if you stay quiet enough and I could swear, you could have heard the sound of the air playing with the top of the trees.

It was beautiful and peaceful. I never saw it that way when I was a child.

_-I get it. It was more fun back then. Though, I love to come here to think-_

_-Really?-_

_-Yeah… I feel free. Alone. It’s like a safe space. Nobody comes here, which makes it good to hide for a little bit-_

_-It’s much less scary now than I remembered-_

_-You were terrified of coming here-_

_-I know. I didn’t like to come alone-_ You made it safe. I left the words unspoken and we both knew it.

We reached the tallest tree in the woods, the one you could see from the highway, a strong Bur Oak that had been there since I could remember. And the place Blake and I used to go to, whenever we would sneak around when the boat wasn’t available.

Blake stopped in front of it.

The little cabin that was stood there, wasn’t anymore, she could some of the logs that made its structure laying on the ground. Some of them painted in the beautiful red that it was painted.

_-Why you brought me here?-_

_-Because I want to talk. And I feel like, if we stay in town, we will never be able to talk calmly._

_-Have you thought about the fact that maybe, just maybe I didn’t want to talk-_

_-Yes, that’s one of the reasons I brought you here-_

_\- I walked. You didn’t bring me._

_-You were walking the exact opposite direction I was. So I thought, that maybe if when you start screaming at me. Nobody will be able to hear you. These woods drowns the screams-_

_-That sounded very murdery, just saying-_ I might hate him. We might have the worst relationship to exist, but he’d never put a hand on me unless I asked him to nicely. I shuddered.

_-You cold?-_

_-No-_

The silence took over and I just looked down at the dirt, while Blake sat at the roots of the tree.

_-What do you want to talk about?-_

_-I wanted to catch up. You haven’t come here in decades. I haven’t seen you in person in that long, I … don’t know. I saw your life in the papers and it felt strange like you were some kind of stranger-_

_-Maybe I am-_

_-No, you look exactly the same Gwen Stefani-_

_-Trust me, I don’t-_

_-You do. Your eyes still shine when you’re happy. You still play with your belt when you’re nervous and you bite your lip when you don’t know what to do-_

_-Blake…-_

_-Just… see you here has… confused me, a great deal-_

_-Why?-_

_-Seen you as a mom… as a human, instead of a pop star or a fashion designer... it’s confusing. I usually was able to see it and put you in a shelf, like a portrait, a memory, and now… you’re here-_

_-Blake…-_

_-I missed you. When you left. I … missed you every day-_

_-You got married. When I left, you were married-_

_-I know it’s selfish. I know it’s horrible. But fuck, at least I was able to daydream, to see you there and … breath. Whenever I saw you, I could breathe-_

_-Funny enough, when I saw you, I couldn’t-_

_-I’m half a man, Gwen. I haven’t been able to live freely since you left. I can’t seem to be able to go to the lake, not having memories playing back of us in the boat, fucking, laughing, chilling. Or me, sneaking out of your house in the early morning-_

She felt the tears welling up in her eyes. The hurt in his voice reminded her, way too much of the hurt in her heart.

_-You moved on. Then I did-_

_-We never talked, you never said goodbye…-_

_-You dumped me on a Tuesday, in the worst time I’ve ever had, and you got married that Sunday-_

_-You know why I did it-_

_-No, I don’t-_

_-Gwen…-_

_-Blake.. stop. We were done, we have been done for decades. The chapter closed the second the town found out about us and you ran away. Leaving me behind-_

_-I never left-_

_-I might have left the town. But we both know you left me first, you abandoned me before that-_

With that, Gwen walked out of the woods by herself. Blake stayed in the dark.

- _I hate it here_ \- Gwen whined as Blake took her hand and dragged her into the woods.

- _Why_?- He laughed while he kept moving rocks and branches out of the way for Gwen to walk calmly.

_-It’s dark, cold… lonely-_

_-I’ll protect you and you’re not alone pretty girl-_

She was plastered on his back and got her arms around his middle the second they left the truck.

After a few minutes of Gwen flinching with every single sound that could be heard, Blake stopped at the root of the oak, right next to the cabin. His favorite spot in the woods.

That cabin had belonged to Blake’s grandfather. He had built it for his kids, for when whenever they wanted to go hunting. Now, it was his.

This cabin in the middle of the woods, a few miles from his family home, reminded Gwen once again of the amount of land and power that the Shelton clan had in the town.

- _Come here-_

_-Why are we here?-_

_-Cause nobody will interrupt us and it was hard enough to bring you out of your window, in the middle of a heated afternoon, to waste it into getting caught in the road-_

Gwen’s parents didn’t want her kids to be out all day, they’d only allowed them to leave after 3 and come back before 7. So, Gwen decided to go to her room, after explaining she wasn’t feeling that great to only, escape by the window with the help of Jen.

Jen was covering for Gwen, Todd was with Eric playing with some video recorded he got. So she would take care of sick Gwen, until 3.

_-We could have gone to your house-_

_-Aren’t we brave… --_

_-Why do you always say that?. Maybe you’re the one who’s not ready for this-_

_-Maybe I’m not ready-_

_-You always talk as if it’s our last time together-_

_-You think?-_

_-I do…. Every time we talked at night, feels like you’re saying goodbye-_

_-I’ll try not to-_

_-Ok-_

Blake sat down in the couch and stared at her. The brown couch was at least 8 feet long, it could hold Blake, and be a great bed whenever he felt like it. That was the reason he bought it.

_-Did you hurt your arm too bad when you climbed down?-_

_-No, just a scratch. It was that damn branch-_

_-Let me see-_

Gwen moved to him and stood in front of him, as she put her arm out so he could take a look at the cut.

_-It’s not bad-_

_-I know. Would you…-_

_-Would I what?-_

_-Kiss it better-_

_-Oh, you think that’d help-_

_-Yes…-_

He pulls her towards him and he kisses her wrist a couple of times, his eyes locked into hers as he went up to her arm. He reached the light reddening area and kissed it, before using his tongue across it.

- _Blake_ …- she gasped and held into his shoulder.

_-Better?-_

She moved her head down and brushed her nose to his as his hands took her hips and moved her down his lap.

_-The last time we did this, you got angry with me-_ She kissed his cheek and stubble, moving her hips closer to his.

_-‘Cause you took me by surprise. And a man, surprised and horny, it’s not a good combo when he can't do anything to fix the situation-_ His hands moved to her legs and up, letting the soft material of her dress, reveal the thighs

_-You could-_

_-No… not yet-_

_-But I want you to-_

_-Not yet, baby girl-_

Blake kissed her neck and she revealed more of it, snapping her head back for him. She felt the hands brushing her legs while her hands moved to his neck and back of his head. He stopped.

_-Blake-_

_-What is it, baby girl?-_

_-Why are you stopping-_ She almost whined

_-Cause I’m not gonna bring you to the middle of a forest, in a summer afternoon, after sneaking out to just kiss your neck…. Well, I did but I also brought you something-_

- _What_?-

He moved to his side and grabbed his backpack. Inside there was a magazine, but not any magazine, it was Vogue, 3 editions of Vogue.

- _Blake_ \- She gasped.

_-I asked my cousin who lives in Texas to send me one. He had a lot of questions. I just told him that a pretty lady I knew wanted to know a bit more about fashion-_

_-Blake… this is too expensive! -_

_-You wanted it. I have never heard anyone talk about anything, like when you talk about designing. It’s admirable. So… I asked a couple of favors, not a big deal. Do you like it? -_

_-I might cry-_ Her voice cracked

_-Don’t cry-_

_-I'll try-_

He kissed her lips and she kissed him back, locking her eyes to his and letting it all out.

_-Thank you, Blake Shelton-_ He chuckled, she always called him by his full name, since they were both kids.

_-You’re very welcome, Gwen Stefani-_

She moved her magazines to the backpack, once again, not before making sure it was a reality and looked at him with sultry eyes. Eyes that hid nothing to him.

She kissed him tenderly and he got lost in her, he moved her lips across his, softly. Not even taunting but enjoy the feeling of the little rays of electricity that’d shock her body whenever the lips met.

He moved up and bit her lower lip, dragging it towards him.

The kiss turned into a make-out against the sofa, their breathing the only thing that could be heard in the cabin, along with the sound of the air playing with the leaves. The clothes were wrinkling around them, and the dress was restricting her breathing, having her panting like a madwoman.

- _Blake_ …- She moaned when his hands moved up her legs and rounder her ass, while she moved their middles together.

- _Fuck, Gwen no_ -

- _But I want to… I need to-_

Gwen bit his neck and sucked it while undid the buttons of his shirt, opening the bottom of his jeans.

- _Gwen_ …-He growled

She stopped and moved out of his grasp, just to stand there and take off her dress. She was in her underwear. Blake closed his eyes and growled once again, this time, you could heat the mix of desperation and heat coming from him.

She closed the gap again, she felt the tingles as his eyes moved across her skin.

- _No sex, Gwen. Not yet. You deserve better than a cabin in the woods or a boat in the middle of a lake-_

_-Ok…-_ She ran her tongue on the side of his neck.

He couldn’t move. Not even breath. He was fighting the urge in him to plaster again him and getting his way with her. But not yet. He had plans. And didn’t involve a cold cabin.

But he could touch, he could do something, he needed to do something.

He moved his hands to her hips and plastered against his, her hands moved the shirt down his arms, getting caught on his elbows and his pants wouldn’t pass the bulge area.

He gave in a little bit. He moved the hips up and let her get the jeans out of the way, to turn her with his back to the sofa, moving up and letting the shirt, the boots, and jeans lay on the floor right next to her dress.

_-You’re amazing-_ He whispered. It was a sacred moment and she couldn’t help but whisper. Not wanting to break the beauty of the moment.

_-You’re divine-_

He moved over her and took her lips once again, she melted in his arms, crossing her legs around his middle and her arms, on his neck. They kissed, and kissed and kissed until the air of the cabin was hot enough to bring fire to life.

Her hands went to his bulge and Blake growled but didn’t stopped, instead, he went to her back and undid her bra, taking it off and moving to the peaks he had been salivating for a while now.

_-Blake!-_

He kissed them both, repeatedly, then started to bathe them with his tongue, letting it play, using his teeth, and just suck the life out of them, as if he could make her finish only with that.

… he could

Gwen never realized how sensitive her breast was up until this moment. She was in heaven. She was about to have the best orgasm she’s had in her life. She held on to his hair and kept moving her middle to get that extra pleasure, but Blake didn’t let her. He held her legs and stopped her.

Not his tongue though. He didn’t stop his tongue.

_-Blake… I need more-_

_-Can you cum like this?-_

_\- I … yes, fuck suck harder_ \- he applied and she felt near the edge. He bit the peaks, kissed them, and mark them for life. Then it happened.

She shuddered and moaned, he felt her thighs shaking and her whole body moving against him

He gave the peaks a last move of the tongue while staring at her eyes.

They were half-closed, lost in the feelings she was having.

_-You good?-_

_-Blake… fuck. I’m so… wet-_

He grunted and kissed her stomach, moving down to her body and letting her feel the edge of his teeth, kissing every inch of skin he could find.

He moved her panties down her legs and she blushed profoundly. He looked up and smile while he kissed just the top of her center, dragging skin and working on a hickie that was going to bring her down the cliff again.

He then moved down and made a meal out of her, he was starving and Gwen couldn’t handle it. Her hips couldn’t move with his hands holding them, her legs were spread around his shoulders and she felt decadent. She’d never felt so precious, so pleased or so… perfect.

He wouldn’t stop, he brought her down to the edge a couple of times and there were now almost tears running down her cheeks out of desperation.

His hand moved and slowly, pushed inside a finger inside of her, she stopped breathing. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t open her eyes, she felt floating in a cloud and she felt so good. She was touching the sky.

She arched. She needed more.

- _Blake…-_ She kept repeating his name, like some sort of prayer. _– More… I need more-_

_-You want more, baby girl-_ His voice was dark, crude, hot.

_-Yes… fuck yes-_

I felt another finger and just kept floating, his tongue kept playing and as his hand moved in and out, he touched something that had me screaming, cursing and out of hair, all at the same time. It was painful in the way that it was so good. I needed more of that.

He kept doing that and just whispered the magic words for my cataclysm.

_-Cum-_

I lost it. I flew out of my body.

It took time for me to return. Not going to lie, I didn’t want to. But feeling Blake kissing my neck, made me want to feel him again, all over me.

I moved my hands down his back, to his butt, and to his front. The bulge was present, and I wanted to do something. Something primal.

_-Gwen…-_

_-Let me. I want to see you fall apart. Just like you wanted to see me-_

_-Gwen…-_

_-Please, Blakey, please-_

I pushed him back and he was there in all of his glory, lightly sweaty and horny. I moved my hands to his stomach and down, letting my tongue leave a path, moving it in patterns, and even, spell my name. As if I couldn’t mark him like mine forever.

When I got where I wanted I looked up. I wanted his eyes on me. I kissed him there, where the heat seemed to burn the darkest. He moaned.

I used my teeth and tongue as he did, I marked him just under his underwear. I wanted to mark him as mine. I wanted him to remember this and get hard while he looked at the dark spots in his body. Just like I will.

He growled like a wounded animal. I smiled.

I moved the boxers down and it was there, in all of his glory. I salivated. I looked up and his eyes were set on mine, midnight blue now, dark and needy.

I licked from the bottom to the top, in the way I had seen once in a movie, and he snapped his head back, moving his legs so his feet were on the couch.

I liked him over and over until I saw his sweat. He was holding back. His hands were holding the couch, white knuckles. Then I did it. I took him in my mouth, moved down, and got lost in him. I heard him cursed and pant, his hands moved to my hair, not doing much but holding my hair, I felt the trembles, the need.

I moved as far as I could, wasn’t much, but I let my tongue do most of the work. After a bit, I felt him fist my hair and moved up a little bit.

_-Breath, baby. Breath with your nose. Just like that. Fuck yes-_ I felt him tremble and he fisted my hair one more time, moving his hips up a couple of times, just before his body would sit on the couch, taking me with him, pushing me down to my back. 

He stood there, painfully horny. I thought he would do it. He moved my legs around his hips and pulled me closer to him. I felt feverish again. He moved down, and took my mouth, then my neck, and started to pump his fist down his penis, I watched.

_-If you kept doing that, I was going to do something you’re definitely not prepared for-_

_-Were you gonna cum down my throat?_ \- He hissed and my hand moved to him, helping him and then moving his hand away.

_-Fuck, Gwen. When did you learn that?-_

_-I’ve watched movies. I’ve touched myself thinking of doing all of this with you-_

His hand moved to my center and started to touch my clit as I got lost in the movement of my hand. I was losing it again.

Then I heard him moaned as if he was in pain, followed by a growl and I saw his seed in my stomach, his hands kept moving, and just seen him, happy, spent, and on top of me, made me lose it again. I arched. It was less intense and shorter, not less delicious and perfect though.

He fell on top of me and I shuddered under him. I still felt my body react to the pleasure and I got lost in his lips, his eyes, his hands. I was his, he was mine. At least for the summer.


	5. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... I'm back!!
> 
> Hiii
> 
> I missed you all!!

- _So, he took you to the woods. Just like that and you went-_ Brad and I were in the living room that very same night.

A bottle of wine was opened and breathing in the dark wood table in front of the couch. We were both splattered across the sofas, our feet almost touching.

 _-I didn’t go to the woods with him. I walked around and we happened to be at the entrance of it. I didn’t plan it. I swear-_ When I got back to town, I went for Kingston and returned to the house in a hurry. I wasn’t sure if I was scared of the possibility of him calling me up, or of him not doing it.

My head was a mess.

My sweet boy tried to make a couple of tries to get me to talk about Blake, but I was still trying really hard to contain myself and pretend that what had happened, didn’t.

I didn’t feel strong enough to just talk to him like a normal human, so I didn’t. I was processing the information, his words, our feelings.

 _-Ok. Let’s say I believe you. You still got in it with him and talked, to him, in the middle of nowhere, near a place you two would have sex regularly-_ Brad kept digging.

_-Why wouldn’t you believe me?-_

_-Maybe, your subconscious is acting funny or is playing games with you. You have told me some of the things you guys did or how you felt. He was your first. And honey, you don’t forget it-_

_-I hate being drunk around you. You don’t forget things-_

Brad was a good friend and an excellent therapist. He was the kind of man you needed to talk to when you were confused out of your mind like she was at that moment.

She still wasn’t sure why she followed him, the memories she had on those woods still haunted her today. 

_-Well, it’s not my fault that you get yourself drunk every year, on his birthday-_

_-I guess… It was an important date-_

Since she had left the town, on his birthday she would go into the worst headspace of the year, she would get drunk, alone, and cry. Didn’t matter what day it was, she would do that.

But three years earlier, Brad had shown up to her house that day, and he had received the entire full history on vodka and beer drunk Gwen. So he knew some details that maybe conscious Gwen didn’t.

_-I bet it was…-_

_-Stop-_

_-Isn’t it in a few days?-_ Don’t remind her that.

_-Yeah…. It is-_

_-Are you planning to do it?-_

_-No. I’m not-_

_-What about doing him?-_

_-Stop-_

_-Well, I’d do him in a heartbeat. He looks like the type of man-made to be climbed like a tree-_ He was, he definitely was.

A few minutes passed and she stayed quiet, breathing in the woodsy smell, letting the air fill her lungs and work on her anxiety.

_-You know what surprised me about everything you said?-_

_-What? Me talking to him?-_

_-No… the fact that you went with him. You entered and was there. As someone, like you, who still is afraid of the dark, I’m impressed-_

_-I don’t know what came over me I just felt… safe-_

That night even before Gwen went to bed, she knew her head would be full of memories, she knew her dreams were going to be filled with Blake. What she didn’t expect, was that those dreams were probably going to be of them, doing things that they hadn’t done in decades. When Gwen woke up, she wasn’t sure she was upset about that.

Ever since she talked to him earlier that day, she was confused. She had left the woods and walked towards the town, replaying the conversation in her head, she could close her eyes and watch his face, if she got quiet and she’d hear the sound of the breeze against the leaves when his words hit her and their steps as she walked out without him.

Her confusion was going to last a long time, she could feel it.

She was overthinking everything he did and said under those trees. She was trying hard to go back to her normal hard self when it came to Blake, but it was so difficult. Watching him crumble and hurt the way he was, reminded her all too well of her own hurt and vulnerability. She could recognize the pain in his eyes in her own mirror.

It was hard to watch, especially because she now understood that she had hurt him and she felt guilty about it.

Yes, he hurt her in ways that were tangible and easy to spot, but she hurt him too. They’ve been bleeding for decades. The wounds were wide open once again and she wasn’t sure if right now it was the best moment to deal with it

She decided to wait at least three days before leaving the house. The thought of running into him was terrifying.

That meant, that it was Brad who was the one taking the kids to the park or to the groceries. She focused her energy and time on arranging everything for the house sale and of course, getting her head too busy to think Blake in general.

Her plan didn’t work as well as she had hoped. She was sorting everything that was going to be thrown out, sold, or kept.

It was a long path down memory lane.

She had old high school photos, her diaries and even, a couple of recipes her grandmother had left when she was living with them before she passed. There were so much history and memories in that big old house, it was impressive that the weight of it hadn’t brought it down just yet.

That’s when she caught the old photo Gwen had taken of Blake once in the harbor. It was a rainy Friday, she had sneaked out of Jen’s house with her help and had spent the night with Blake, watching him sleep.

She had traced his face and chest with her fingers for hours, wondering how it would feel to be under that skin for the rest of her life. She could picture him, with white spots in his hair, coming home from work with a little baby in his arm and a grocery bag in the other. She could see him splattered down on the couch, napping with their kid, she could smell the barbecue he’d do every Sunday with their families. She could see it all. She had dreamt it all.

Now, she was in her house, her kids in town while she hid from the world, from him. She couldn’t believe how much everything changed in mere minutes.

The first week after finishing her self-isolation, she didn’t see him. Anywhere. She didn’t see him, didn’t heard him or heard of him. He was air.

Gwen would be a fat liar if she didn’t accept that she got nervous by day 5. Suddenly she wasn’t bumping into him anywhere when in two weeks he was literally in every single corner. Wasn’t he the sheriff or something?

After the sixth day, she gave up waiting for him. Though, in her subconscious she was expecting him to run into her, calling her out for her bullshit. He didn’t.

She went to town on a Friday afternoon, decided to go for a pizza for her, taking advantage of the fact that Brad was taking the boys up to the next town for the weekend. In the early morning of the same day, they left filled with excitement.

So, she did what every mom free with kids for a weekend did. She wanted to do everything she did when she was a teen. She didn’t explain if it was something or someone.

Maybe if she had done that, the universe would have listened.

Her list consisted of pizza, nails salon, hair salon, a nice bubble bath and sleep, a lot of sleep.

She should have known better.

That’s how all stories start, right? Alone in her house, ready for a guy to come knocking on the door just to murder her and leaving her body there, waiting to be found by her young children. Damn, she shouldn’t have been watching that movie alone, in a house only a few minutes away from the woods she hated.

Damn it, Gwen.

As on cue, she was underneath the sheet when the loud knock came and she could have felt her bones jump out in fear and maybe a little bit of pee coming out of her. Gwen didn’t move. She waited. The knock returned. This time she moved to the ground, scared out of her mind.

- _Gwen, I know you’re there-_ Blake. Jesus Christ.

She pretended that rolling on the floor never happened and walked to the door, unlocked it to a very serious Blake.

_-What happened? Are you crazy? Have you seen what time it is? It’s literally 9 pm. Kind of rude to be here-_

He didn’t respond. He just stared at me and took a deep breath. His eyes fixed on mine.

_-Blake. Hello?-_

He moved. He took my head in his hands and smashed my lips with his. I lost it. I responded as if the last twenty years never happened and I took his power and energy, his anger and rage on me.

I felt his tongue tangling with mine and his hands on my back, traveling down my back, marking me like hot steel, leaving marks that I wasn’t sure were ever going to go away. It was incredible. I felt alive, in ways that I hadn’t felt like in years.

I took his hair and fisted it like I remembered he preferred, hard but not hurtful, just enough for him to feel the edge of my nails.

He pushed me towards a surface, I felt the coldness of the freezer on my back and I moaned. I was burning on the inside.

I felt beautiful. I felt wanted. I felt powerful.

He moved away and ended the kiss with a loud and filthy plop.

We looked at each other, his burning eyes locked mine into a tight hold, trapping me under him.

_-We need to talk. Seriously. Honestly-_

_-That’s why you kissed me?-_

_-No, I kissed you because I wanted to do that since our last kiss. Because I burn whenever I think about you and it hurt the fact that I couldn’t even dream about doing it ever again-_

_-Blake…-_

_-I’m not sorry. You want to be pissed. Add it to the list. Add it to the list of things we’re going to talk about tomorrow-_

_-Tomorrow?-_

_-I’m gonna pick you up at 6 am, we’re going to the lake house and we’ll talk this through even if I have to drag you out of your bed bounded. That’s a law. I’ve let you figure it out for a few days so it’s my turn now. Are we clear?-_

_-I…-_

_-Good. And no, this is not me wanting to put you down as if you are incapable of doing things. But I know you. You take your time to make decisions and we don’t have time. Your kids return in two days and I need that in the next 48 hours. We talk this through. We need to hurry. Ok?-_

_-Ok…-_

_-Good-_

With that, he left. Closed the door and Gwen started to question her sanity. Did that really happen?

Had she agreed on going out with Blake over the weekend. Wait, did she had to make a bag. What the hell just happened?

_-So you’re one of those people-_ Blake had been staring at Gwen the last few minutes. They were in his lake house, taking up all the sun by the pool. He had picked her up near the woods.

 _-What people?-_ She had her sunglasses on her hand. She was on her back and the tanning oil made her skin all glistened and edible.

 _-That when they’re pissed they think and think until they have created all kinds of scenarios, most of them so unprovable that could become their own fantasy book-_ With that, she turned her head to him.

_-Why you say that?-_

_-Cause’ you’re pissed at me and you’re pushing it aside, so down your throat, I think you might choke-_

_-I’m not…-_

_-Come one-_

_-I don’t want to lie. I don’t like it. I didn’t like it. I hated to see you standing there, letting that girl touch you all over-_

Gwen was wearing the same bikini Blake was drooling over a few months ago, tiny, red, and easy to get off.

_-Babe…-_

_-I know, I know. We’re nothing. No claim. Nothing. But still, I’m pissed. Didn’t like it at all. It reminds me of the fact that I’m too young and that we can’t do that. It reminds me that we’re a secret and that I’d die to do something public with you… ok. Just. A. Lot. And yes, when I’m mad I don’t like to talk about it and don’t like to be cornered either. I need time to think, reflect and then I’ll move on. Maybe my pace is different than yours-_

_-I’m…-_

_-So I don’t want you to push the certain subject. Though it’s fair to say that if I get like this for too long, let's say a day or two. I’ll allow you to push the subject. I’m saying it and me saying it means that I have no right to get mad. It’s a law-_

_-A law?-_

_-Yes. I’m this way and sometimes I need a nudge to move on. Usually, it’s not difficult but when it is I close down like a mean ass clam. So, I apologize for any future inconvenience this might result in in-_

_-Ok… noted. Now, you have nothing to worry about Miranda. She’s intense and I don’t like her. That’s all-_

_-I still don’t like it-_

_-What if next time she goes in, I tell her I’m taken-_

Silence

- _Are you? Taken?-_

_-I feel like it-_

_-I feel…taken too-_

_-Then we’re both taken-_

_-Yeah… we are-_

_-We’re in this baby-_

_-We’re in this-_

With that, Blake got up from the chair he was witting on and walked up to her, shading her from the sun.

- _You’re on the sun’s way-_

_-Yeah… I had an idea about tan lines-_

_-What about them. The bikini is tiny, I’ll have almost none existing tan lines-_

_-True, but maybe, just maybe, you could have less-_

_-Blake…-_

_-Yeah-_

_-You want me to sunbathe naked?-_

_-I mean. I’ll help you with the sunscreen. I don’t want you to burn-_

_-I don’t know… I find tan lines kind of hot-_ She teased, putting her legs together trying to ease the hunger.

_-Yeah? I’d think you naked is hotter. But damn, that’s just me-_

_-I’ll have to think about it…-_

_-Think about those parts that never gets to see the sun, all hot, and achy-_ Blake sat on the chair, she felt it dip. His hands on the sides of her bottom of her bikini.

_-Mmmmmm…-_

She felt him untie them both sides and slowly slid them off underneath her. She felt the immediate heat of the sun mix with the fire ranging now inside of her.

His hands moved down to her ankles and up to her waist in one swift move, avoiding all important places. They moved to the back and she felt him detangle the tiny strings on her back and then on her neck, all with the light help of the arch of her back. She was naked, under the sun and underneath him.

His mouth kissed her neck and she took a deep breath while he did.

_-I think I might impose a law. Anytime is just the two of us, here, or in any other circumstance under the sun. you ought to be naked. This might be my favorite view of all time-_

- _Blake…-_

His mouth moved to the middle of her chest and covered her with kisses, she willed her hands to not move, but it seemed quite impossible as he got closer and closer two her happy place. He got there and with a little kiss on her center just to move from her.

_-What…-_

_-Sunscreen sweety. I don’t want you to burn-_

He moved and after a squirt, he started to paint her body with the white paste. His eyes set on the way his hands moved up and down on both of her legs.

When he got into the important part, he decided to skip it and kept with her torso.

 _-You forgot a place-_ She was gasping

 _-I didn’t… I don’t plan that place to be hit with the sun for long- She_ felt the goosebumps all around again. He went for her chest and her arms, her neck, and her ears.

She was breathing hard by the time he finished.

- _Turn around-_ He growled.

She felt his hands on her back, the feeling was getting her drunk, she moved up to her elbows so she could get her torso up and his face moved down her legs, moved them apart, and got every inch lather with sunscreen.

She turned around and saw his face with a wicked smile as he moved down to her center and blew a little air just before he went in.

- _Oh God!-_ She held on to the chair and gasped hard while his mouth moved on her. His hands moved her legs on her shoulders and her hips a little up, he got a better view and much better control of the situation. All while leaving her completely powerless. She didn’t care.

She had a couple of good dreams after that day at the old wood cabin, she had woken up bothered but her hands were not enough to bring her down that edged, that delicious edge he seemed the only one able to take her to.

His mouth and tongue were relentless, just like his hands moving up her chest.

_-More... I need more-_

_-I know-_ She felt teeth and she gasped holding his hair tighter

_-Why can’t I do this to myself?-_

_-You do this often… do you get off?-_

_-I haven’t been able to since the woods, I can’t get that far. Ain’t this good. I always want this good-_ he growled and moved faster and harder, she arched even more. His hands went to her breasts and played with them while he brought her closer and closer, just like he liked a slow but steady burn.

_-Show me-_

_-Blake-_ Gasped while she moved her hand down.

_-I’ll help you…but show me-_

She started to move her hand over her clit and his mouth kept moving, licking her fingers every once in a while. She screamed.

Sweat started to gather on both of them and just when she was about to end it all, he moved her hand and attacked her clit, sinking a couple of fingers in her, getting her to light up like fireworks.

He smiled and let her legs rest on the chair again.

_-Fuck, Gwen… Taste delicious-_

_-You too-_

_-Fuck-_

She moved her hand to him and undid his bathing suit slowly. She released him and got her chest down to the chair. She wanted him to feel the aftershocks she felt and the pleasure he had created. She licked the tip and grunted like an animal.

She took him farther down than the last time but this time he stood still. He was enjoying it while fighting the urge to snuck down her throat and finish.

Up and down. Slowly she brought him to the edge and he fisted her head at the last minute. She got the hint, but instead of moving away, she went down and played with his sac forcing him to stop breathing underneath all the pleasure.

He shook his head, figuring out a battle within. He either stopped her and slipped out, or let her take him to paradise. Blake didn’t want to force it on her this quickly but fuck, the pleasure was too great.

_-Gwen…stop. I don’t have the power…you do. Stop it-_

She hummed and he nearly screamed.

 _-Fuck... this is too soon. Baby, please. Oh fuck, fuck-_ She went faster and faster.

He was so close, he could taste it. Every move of her tongue and every touch of teeth was bringing him down and the need to move her head away seemed farther and farther by the second.

 _-I want you… I want you to-_ Gwen popped him out just to say it and he couldn’t help it. He let go.

He felt every ounce of air coming out of his lungs, every particle of energy leaves his body and irradiate a deep understanding of life, pleasure, and need.

Blake opened his eyes to see Gwen’s bellybutton.

He had folded down to her and she was now breast up, playing with his chest. His dick still hard while she licked it a couple of times, making him hiss and grunt.

_-You’ll be the death to me-_

_-Good-_


End file.
